Are You "Open To The Right Relationship?"
The modern single gal's tagline.
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.
Single women in our 40s (and 50s, and some of y’all who are about 38), have passed through an emotional portal. There is a point at which you know for sure you won’t settle for a relationship that isn’t worth it, because you’ve lived without a relationship for so long that pressure, shame, and false promises disappear. There’s no longer anything for the degrading narratives to hide behind, because you’ve been single long enough to prove them wrong. There’s a point in a single woman’s life when the way she feels about love is simple: she’s open to the right relationship, but she will never settle for the wrong one. She doesn’t have to.
It’s a sentiment repeated in my public and private lives, by countless women, continually. This single life that used to feel so shameful in our 20s and early 30s doesn’t hurt anymore. In fact, if anything we’ve borne witness to so many relationships that look unappealing that we can see how lucky we are to have avoided them. At the same time, there isn’t exactly a rejection of love—just a refusal to participate in anything other than what we actually want, which is a wonderful, balanced, respectful connection. We never fucking find it though.