Ugly People Get Married Every Weekend

Stop equating partnership with beauty.

Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.

Let’s collectively unclench at my use of the word “ugly.” We are adults, and throughout our lives we’ve all been force-fed beauty standards (that none of us meet so it’s weird that they’re called standards). I think you know my intention in using the word and it’s not to make people feel bad about themselves. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’m tired of the willful tunnel vision singles commit themselves to. I understand why we do it. We decide the “reason” why we’re single because it’s much easier to have something to point to than nothing to point to. It’s easier to view your singlehood as permanent for a reason that tracks in your brain than it is to accept that you might want something forever without ever knowing if you’ll receive it and never knowing why. A life of permanent uncertainty is a kind of cruelty, so we commit to “reasons” to give ourselves a bit of relief. I just can’t let singles walk around thinking they’re not pretty enough to deserve love. That’s pushing my bullshit tolerance a bit too far.