Soulmates Aren't Real
More importantly, they don't need to be.
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.
It’s never my intention to crush the hopes of single women. My purpose is to demolish the lies we cling to so that in the truth, we find freedom. In the space left behind where bullshit once lived, we have enough room to be authentically happy—single, partnered, or otherwise. It’s alarming to me how many grown adults still cling to tall tales. It’s also alarming how many people are still searching for a soulmate.
Fluff will never fill you. The old narratives, the cute quotes, the milestone moments you can’t wait to post on Instagram—the utter nonsense we pine for—it’s all a fog. The world loves women with their heads in the mist, too preoccupied with an endless search to develop enough self worth and shed enough fear of being alone to require a man to be her equal. It’s difficult to shed the narratives, to snap out of the idea that soulmates are the ultimate prize. That’s by design, because if fantasies keep women wanting and searching for long enough, we’ll confuse something that’s there for something that’s perfect. We have to stop believing in lies like soulmates so that we can stop living for fantasy, and start loving real life.