Romantic Loneliness Is Different, Actually
Feeling alone despite having friends?
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.
It’s possible to have million friends and still be lonely. You aren’t broken, there’s nothing you need to “heal,” it’s just part of being a person. I know how it feels. It’s frustrating to reframe singlehood for yourself, to actually develop some solid friendship connections, and then look around and think goddammit, why am I still lonely?
You’re still lonely because romantic connection is a part of human life, one that singles have been seemingly locked out of, in massive numbers, indefinitely. You’re still lonely because we were never meant to get all of our bonds from one place, we were supposed to diversify. You can’t rely solely on either family, friends, or romantic connections, those of us who want them all should have them all. Over the years, we’ve watched other people get to balance out their plate of people while we’re still over here missing entire food groups. It’s not weird that you’re still lonely. It’s weird that anyone expects you not to be.