"Less Bitchin', More Kitchen—And You'd Be Married By Now"

Buckle up.

Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a healing newsletter for 80s babies by Shani Silver. This newsletter does not publish free content, but if you’d like to read it you can subscribe here. Thank you for enjoying the work of independent writers.

Maybe you’ve noticed this about me..I don’t condone dating advice—because it’s not advice, it’s a guess. People are guessing “what your problem is” and then guessing how you should solve it, conveniently never having to face consequences when their advice turns out to be as useful as a fart in a jam jar. I know it’s rare for a single person to be desperate for things like dignity and empathy instead of a partner, but stay with me here. Unsolicited dating advice is the most abhorrent, because if I didn’t ask and you are offering, you’re just insulting me for sport. The very worst form of unsolicited dating advice often appears in a social media comments section—and that’s for sport, too.

This human eyelash in your eyeball proceeded to leave five or six more degrading comments on my content, designed to provoke women who dare to view ourselves as whole beings with value extending past the services we can provide to men. We don’t engage with these pricks, okay? They get off on it. We block, we move on, or we turn their vile words into income. I did all three.