I'm Glad I Never Got F*cking Married
Gratitude post.
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.
I want a husband, but not these husbands. We talk about people meeting partners like it’s luck, because it is entirely luck, but partnered people aren’t the only ones hitting jackpots. Every day, every single day on god’s internet I am reminded how lucky I am that I never got married. I read and consume daily horror stories—not dating horror stories because those are so cliché I could spit—marriage horror stories. I am so glad I never signed myself up for a marriage I’d later break down in a ten-part series online. Yes, I’m still alive, and therefore “never” might be pushing things, but I’m in my 40s and I haven’t been married, I’ve fucking earned this.
I’m talking about marriages where both people work full-time but guess who’s doing the cooking, cleaning, child-managing, bill paying, and appointment booking for the entire household while the other one is on the couch because he needs to “unwind.” Don’t feed me an internet full of incels convinced women want to trick them out of their nonexistent money when in reality women make our own money and men use women for free domestic services while cheating on their spouses like it’s a little hobby. It gets more intricate. There’s often money and property involved, sometimes drugs and alcohol are involved, sometimes violence is involved, sometimes the police are involved. There are countless, continuous life-altering offenses committed by men against the wives they proposed to every day that this earth turns. Honey, “luck” is putting my situation mildly.