How To Say No

Especially when you're afraid to.

Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a healing newsletter for 80s babies by Shani Silver. This newsletter does not publish free content, but if you’d like to read it you can subscribe here. Thank you for enjoying the work of independent writers.

I love family words, that hyper-unique lexicon of secret passcodes. In my family we don’t say, “enough already,” we say, “enough arreddy.” An indicator of exhaustion. It’s our version of “I’m saying no to this, and I want you to stop.” It’s one thing to know how to say it, it’s quite another to put it into practice. Saying no is an art form, a skill set, and a Fear Factor mission (remember them?) all in one. The most necessary word in human communication is very often the hardest to say. But my stars does it feel amazing once you learn how.

Hey, that’s another fabulous word, “how.” We can talk about our mental health and wellbeing for as long as internet voices (including mine) can ‘gram about them, but theory alone will only take us so far. All the self worth-led actions in the world mean nothing if all you ever do is observe other people partaking. I want to walk through the practicalities of saying no for you, but just as importantly, for me.