How The "Broken Picker" Hurt Single Women
Setting up a generation for self-blame.
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.
I’m not shy about my feelings on matchmakers. Far too often, they are grifters taking your money and leaving you with one of two things: either a romantic partner you have to force yourself to want, or jack shit. If that language sounds too strong, please know that I use it in honor of women who have given thousands of dollars to these people only to be told that they’re “too picky.” They were never too picky. They just loved themselves too much to settle for whatever lame, unattractive men the matchmaker had in her “database.” This newsletter costs $5 per month, and love is free. Don’t ever give your money to someone whose job it is to make you feel so low about yourself that you’ll settle for someone they’re trying to get rid of.
Perhaps the most famous matchmaker among our generation is Patti Stanger, whose show Millionaire Matchmaker ran from 2008-2015. So, from when I was 26 until I was 33. During my “prime” dating years, and probably yours too, one of the biggest social influences on dating culture was a show that told rich men they were single because they just hadn’t met the right girl yet, and told women of completely average means that their pickers were broken.