Drowning In Other People's Success

We see too much.

Dear Cheaper Than Therapy Readers: The following newsletter was written and scheduled before the outcome of the election. I am currently unable to speak productively to what has happened, and so this week’s newsletter will go forward as planned. Take care of yourselves and each other, I am trying to do the same. xo Shani

Your girl has been a bit mired in self-doubt these days. Do you ever feel that way? Like…shit, maybe I’m not good at anything, yikes! It isn’t pretty, but it is happening, and I’d rather open a discussion on the topic instead of pretending I’m the only one who could possibly know how this feels. Too frequently it seems like I am watching life happen to others, rather than experiencing life happen to me. As though somehow the Universe has forgotten I’m in the room. I think I blame the internet.

Why does happiness feel happier when other people can see it? Why is it not enough to experience things and accomplish things for ourselves, why must we insist upon announcing them, too? Why wasn’t catapulting yourself off a diving board enough satisfaction as a kid unless a grown up was specifically focusing on you while you did it? “Mom! Watch!” I want to win an award or something and tell no one, just to see what it’s like. What I don’t want is to tread over emotional mines seven times a day as I scroll past the accomplishments of people who aren’t that different from me. How many coping exercises does a person need to do in a day, I ask you?