Did Love Forget About Us?
A deep pain, a deep envy.
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter for 80s babies.
This week’s newsletter is inspired by the message below that I received from a subscriber. Just so you know, I read them all, and they make me feel like what I’m doing genuinely matters. In moments of extremely human self-doubt, they are medicine. I’m going to keep this reader anonymous, but I was so impacted by her words that I thought this topic deserved our time. It’s good clean fun to point out the ridiculousness of a “male loneliness epidemic” of their own making, it’s cathartic to let out a digital primal scream when the insanity of it all boils over. But the reality for women who just want a goddamned partner already is that we’re alone, for staggering portions of our lives, and we’re in pain.
“I am in pain constantly. Not noticeably, but it is a deep ache and a deep envy that I have for couples. So thank you so much, Shani for your courageousness to stand up for single women all over the world. To give us all a voice. Thank you.”
I know not all of you want someone. I know the validity and power of choosing singlehood because that’s what feels right for you. You are correct, and you are seen. But in this moment I’m speaking to those of us who aren’t choosing this. Who don’t want to be alone, who don’t want to live a life without romantic love, but who also don’t have a choice. We didn’t call ours an epidemic, we just kept our pain to ourselves, even though it was never our fucking fault.