You may have noticed, because I just emailed you about it, that 1982 has had a makeover. Imagine an effervescent 1990s pop song playing in the background during the process if you wish. I changed my newsletter’s name to Cheaper Than Therapy because as I write it, I feel myself drawn not just to the fun parts of being an 80s baby, but to the spaces that have room for renovation, too. I want us reaching into the Gak (remember that shit) for both parts of the memories—the stuff that makes us smile, and the stuff that makes us grow.
I’ve never been afraid to change names. Shani Silver is not even my name. Silver is my grandmother’s maiden name and I use it because it sounds nicer than my government name and that’s really the gist of it. I’m also not the sort of person to hold herself back. Again…I’m an 80s baby with divorced parents, I think we’ve had enough of wanting one thing and doing another in the name of people-pleasing, no? If I want to do something, I do it, and I want this.
I want us to unlearn, you and me together. There are a lot of beliefs and lessons from our childhoods that are still playing out in the present day and I don’t think all of them are helpful. I want us to talk about the things we’re afraid will upset our families and peers. I want us to stop avoiding our growth in service of their comfort. They’re welcome to start newsletters of their own.
The content doesn’t change. I’m still writing, we’re still reframing, and setting aflame as many limiting childhood beliefs as we can, one week at a time. Now the name fits the work a bit more. I’ll still be sharing my recommendations for people our age because I don’t see a lot of that elsewhere and I’ll still be reminding us of songs we’ve forgotten to help transport our brains back to memories and moments that are important because I think that’s fun. Also not for nothing therapy is really fucking expensive and I don’t see any harm in a little out-of-office support, do you?
Thank you for being here, thank you for recognizing that we’re not frozen in time, stuck with what we learned as kids, forever looping in the same patterns and limitations as if those are the only things available to us. Everything is available to us, but when we were kids we didn’t learn everything—we learned what we lived. I think we’re allowed to live a little more.
How cute is my new logo by the way.
xo
Shani
I really love this and resonate a lot with the idea! I did therapy for 2,5 years and man that cost a lot! I should have probably continued but I discovered writing and found myself a community around parenthood and stuff related to my journey. I’ll be checking your pieces often.
I love this!