A "Coach" Can't Help You
Babe, you're healed enough.
Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver.
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Dating coaching, life coaching, wellness coaching—it probably sounds great. The idea of paying someone a fee to find out “what your problem is?” Yes, I can see the appeal. I can certainly see the appeal from the single perspective, because what we are is considered a problem, so naturally we’ll spend our time—and money—trying to figure out the cause and solution. The notion that “wounds” inside of you are what’s causing your singlehood and you just need to “heal” probably sounds a lot better than “nobody knows, it’s really just luck.” I’m sure to a single woman who has already tried everything to find a partner (ten times over) with no success, an easy, purchasable solution feels like a godsend.
The problem is that you aren’t single because you’re wounded or because you need help, but you might be lonely, confused, and exhausted because you’re single. All of those feelings leave single women incredibly vulnerable being taken advantage of by anyone who feels like calling themselves a coach. And if we dare to question these “coaches,” we’re the ones in the wrong for “getting in our own way.” I’m tired of coaches with vague or nonexistent qualifications blaming and shaming single women consequence-free. I intend to be a consequence.