Are You Afraid Of Your Boss?

I think I know why.

Welcome to Cheaper Than Therapy, a newsletter by Shani Silver. This newsletter does not publish free content, but if you’d like to read it you can subscribe here. Thank you for enjoying the work of independent writers.

I like photos that aren’t aesthetically perfect, but are—without question—emotionally ideal. I think we lost that when we stopped shooting on film.

I’ve never cared for authority. Odd, coming from a straight A student who didn’t drink or call boys until college, I’m aware. I’ve always feared it, but I’ve never cared for it. To me, authority was the great gatekeeper, lording over permission, access, forward movement, and freedom. It was a withholder, not a giver. It’s hard for me to think warmly about something when the relationship thrives on my meekness, on how less-than I am compared to whoever’s “above” me. I don’t like the dynamic, the insatiable hunger of authority for my obedience and performance. The idea that I have to dazzle someone because they’re holding the keys to my future, that’s trash actually. At the same time, it’s a thriving structure, one of the very first we learn. It has to do with who’s in charge.

I think our childhood beliefs stick around because we’ve never had occasion to question them. Or worse, because we were conditioned not to. Think about it, how annoyed or angry did your parents get when they heard “Why?” come out of your mouth? Their eyes rolled so far back in their heads you’d think of sending for a priest. We didn’t get genuine answers to that question, lol. We got lies, tricks, and manipulations so that we’d comply and go bed while the sun was still up even though a six year old knows that’s fucking stupid.